The Impact of Divorce

Divorce is significantly impactful on a practical and emotional level (even if we’re the ones who instigated it) and will have an impact of some kind on our children.  So how can we, reduce that impact as much as possible?

Divorce creates a lot of uncertainty, there are lots of questions which need to be answered and lots of changes that need to be implemented.  If we have children, that uncertainty can feel even greater, so we need to put as many things as possible in place to balance out the uncertainty.  For example, stick to daily routine as much as possible.  If your children will now split their time between both parents, make sure it’s clear to them how that split will take place.  Make sure it’s written down on a calendar where they’re able to see it whenever they want to. 

Keep communication as open as possible too – using negotiation and rapport building techniques can provide significant support for those challenging conversations.  If you have children, keep the lines of communication open with them too.  Parents often shy away from this, not wanting to cause additional upset.  The simple fact is your children are going to work things out, so it’s better for you that they do when you’re able to reassure them about everything rather than when they’re on their own.  Wherever possible involve them as much as you can in planning and decision making.

It’s also important to keep boundaries intact; be clear and decisive about your own boundaries and respect those of the other parties involved. 

If you have children keep boundaries/rules in place.  Parents often fear maintaining boundaries like, bedtime or a curfew may make an upset child feel even more upset.  Now is the time your children need the boundaries maintaining more than ever.  Why?  Because as we discussed earlier, while other things in their life are turbulent, they need consistency and structure.  To know you still have the same expectations on their boundaries will show them that the structure they know and understand is still in place. 

Finally, you need your own outlet for worries, rants, and challenging times.  No child wants to hear you talking negatively about their other parent.  Setting up your support network will enable you to support your children effectively.  Here’s how we can help, we can provide a confidential listening ear, tools to help you manage challenging times and techniques to help your children to navigate this tricky time. 

Contact us for more information on the support we can provide to your staff.